Nesting Notions
- Niina
- Sep 6, 2019
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 9, 2023
As I near the end of this pregnancy with my sweet Eloise, I can’t help but reflect what a crazy ride the last 8+ months have been for our family. This pregnancy is very different from the one with Evangeline. My health has been much better, the circumstances much lighter, and nesting much easier ... most likely since we return to Thailand in December and there is no point to set up a nursery for only 3 months in Oregon that we can’t take with us.
This has forced me to be particular with what is being purchased and evaluating what is absolutely necessary. With a nearly 10-year gap between my babies, I feel wiser, more assertive, and confident than before. Perhaps it’s because I’m also on the cusp of turning 38 in October. With one foot in the world of pre-teen (Lord, give me strength!) and the other approaching newborn central, there are a few "nesting notions" I’ve been mulling over lately ...
1. Don't Be Afraid To Be Bold. It's only been in the last year that I decided to embrace yellow. I've always loved the color, but wearing it was an entirely different story. I'm the type of girl who would rather fade into the background than be front and center. Yellow stands out and draws attention, so it's never been my first choice. However, there's something about coming out of a season of mourning and darkness that's drawn me to that which sparks sunshine. Since returning to America, I am drawn to brighter colors (particularly yellow) because it really does set my mood for the day and brings a smile. It also feels like a declaration ... no matter what is thrown my way, I won't let it get me down. I used to be that person that took things so personally (ok, ok and times I still do) BUT part of determining not to own that mindset is deciding to be bold and courageous enough to simply be me.
"So then, with this amazing hope living in us, we step out in freedom and boldness to speak the truth." 2 Corinthians 3:12 (TPT)
As I look back on this amazing little miracle that is soon to join us (12 DAYS or less) and the hope that Jesus has restored to me, I can't help but long to step out daily in His freedom and boldness. I want to share the miraculous works He has done in my life. I never want to return to that place of despair and hopelessness. I want every day to be a declaration of His grace and goodness. Boldly sharing God's miraculous works has the power to break chains. I feel more determined to boldly be that woman.
2. ALL Of You Is Worth Embracing. For some reason, seeing a pregnant woman's belly brings about the most peculiar statements from complete strangers. During my pregnancy with Evangeline, I remember going to Safeway where a guy laughingly hollered at me from the other end of the aisle, "Hey, the pickles are that way!" I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin, afraid of what people were saying ... about how I looked, how I parented, and how I just wasn't measuring up. Oh, the energy I wasted on worry over others perspectives, particularly those who didn't matter and had no say in my life.
Perhaps it's the nearly 10 year gap between pregnancies, but I'm so proud of my growing baby belly. It hasn't stopped people from making odd pregnancy comments, but I'm not bothered this time. This little one was planned by God LONG before her conception. I don't want to hide this miracle or be self-conscious about my body. The Lord has done an incredible thing in my life and the way my body looks is a testimony to His greatness! God didn't make a mistake when He create my body to sustain life. I am fully worth embracing. Stretchmarks and ALL, He has a plan and purpose for both my life and my baby. God crafts nothing by coincidence.
"We have become his poetry, a recreated people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it! Ephesians 2:10 (TPT)
God extends an open invitation for us to participate in His grand rescue plan, carefully crafting & equipping each one of us to complete a specific piece of His big picture. Our flaws and pitfalls do not drive God away or revoke His invitation. Likewise, we shouldn't allow our own insecurities to disqualify us from the beauty and blessing God longs to give us. Embrace ALL that God has created you to be. Forget the past and allow Him to do the miraculous in you!
3. It's OK to say "No." I’ve always been a “Yes” person. At my core is the desire to invest in & value other for others which somehow leads me to people please. But this season has found me saying “No” more often. My pregnant body just doesn’t allow for much these days. I'm exhausted after the most mundane tasks. I can't even tell you how many times I've apologetically cancelled on people because I move slower and the pregnancy brain has taken over. Such is the price for growing a human.
The pressure I feel is self-induced. Most people understand, and even if they don't, I'm learning that "No" needs to become a necessary practice. It's not personal, it's simply healthy to know your limits, set boundaries, and take care of yourself. It's the only way I'm able to be the best wife, the best mom, the best friend, and the best worker I can possibly be.
This is an area of my life that is still under construction. This pregnancy has forced me to be proactive about setting boundaries and listening to my physical ques more than I ever have before. Maybe God strategically set this stage for me, not only to successfully enter a new season of motherhood, but for our impending move to a new region of Thailand halfway across the world. He is teaching me how to embrace every important season and to listen to my needs just as much as others.
4. Forget The Plan. I like knowing where I'm going, what I'm doing, and what's coming my way. I've been this way my entire life. I would even read the endings of books to make sure everything turned out well (lame, I know).
Faith is not conducive to this mentality and is often shrouded in mystery. If we knew the ending, we'd never fully rely on God. The faith chapter of Hebrews plainly tells us why faith is so vital to our relationship and journey with Jesus:
"Now FAITH brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire the things we long for. It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen. This testimony of FAITH is what previous generations were commended for. FAITH empowers us to see that the universe was created and beautifully coordinated by the power of God's words! He spoke and the invisible realm gave birth to all that is seen." Hebrews 11:1-3 (TPT)
God's plans are so very different than our plans. They rarely look as I expect, which is why faith is so essential. Faith truly is the foundation for God's miracles to manifest in our lives. It's something He longs to do in each one of us, but are we willing to forget our plans and trust Him for the best possible outcome?
I spent years fighting for my plans instead of allowing God to teach me His will. I thought I could somehow manipulate Him into doing what I wanted. Less than 2 weeks away from holding this promised child in my arms, I now see how wrong my thinking was and how faithful God has been through my doubts. Thank goodness His faithfulness doesn't rely on mine. Still, my faith DOES sets the stage for His miraculous plan to unfold in my life.
"Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great tests. Great triumphs can only come out of great trials."
-Smith Wigglesworth
I don't hold the key to great faith, but as I walk with Jesus and listen to His voice, I know He will create great faith in me through the most unlikely means. Don't be afraid to give your plans and dreams to God. He is trustworthy. He never fails. When His plan is finally revealed, His blessings will far outweighs our meager wants. As I see the pieces come together, I wouldn't trade any of His plans for my own. I'm really excited for this next season because I know whatever He has in store for my family, even if it looks unconventional, will be good and He will use it for His glory!
Father, Your ways are good and perfect. We cannot even begin to fathom the blessing, beauty, and joy You have in store for those who love You. When we are disappointed by our circumstances or unanswered prayers, give us the confidence to hold fast to Your Word and Your promises. Give us peace in the middle of uncertainty and chaos. You know us better than we know ourselves. May we always remember that You never forget Your children. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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