BIRTHDAYS | Expat Eyes
- Niina
- Apr 30, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 23, 2024
My oldest officially became a teenager on March 5th, which got me thinking about birthdays. How does one celebrate a birthday overseas? Are there challenges? Do they differ from celebrating birthdays in America? When Evie was younger and we lived in Oregon, I had themed birthday parties every year leading up to our move to Bangkok. And I loved it! I'm a detail-oriented person and it was the absolute best trying to figure out the fun theme and details. Moving to Thailand shifted us from celebration to experience mode. Moving from Oregon to Bangkok had some changes, but Bangkok to Hatyai has even more. For the purposes of this post, I'll focus on our birthday celebrations throughout our Hatyai years.
Here's a few thoughts on celebrating birthdays overseas ...
1. There is a certain level of guilt that I have felt over the years at not being able to give my child the ideal cultural birthday experiences or presents I see other parents giving their children in America. I'm human and like any human, I constantly fight against comparison and inadequacies. I want to give my girls everything, but I don't always have the means or resources available to do so. I needed to shift my ideals and embrace our reality. Yes, birthdays overseas look different, and it's good to embrace different. Since moving to Hatyai, Evie has celebrated four birthdays ( 10, 11, 12 & 13 years) and every single one has been a unique and different type of celebration.
10 years old [March 2020]. For Evie's 10th birthday, we were hosting a team of college students from America (just weeks prior to the global lockdown). Every birthday Evie had in Thailand was celebrated with a different team on her actual birthday (this was prior to Covid because it's typically Spring Break for college students). Each team has blessed our girl, brought gifts from America, and made her feel special.
11 years old [March 2021]. We met a beautiful expat community and co-op group in Thailand about 7 months into living here. This was such a game changers for our family, especially our girl. She was so excited to celebrate and game with a group of her peers. This was an especially beautiful party in light of all the transitions that took place after Emelyn was born just 4 months prior to this party.
12 years old [March 2022]. This birthday celebration kind of blew up in our faces. There was a lot of Covid whack-a-mole, where everyone we knew was getting Covid and we were locked out of a lot of our regular activities. We were hosting two lovely interns in our home at that time and we had planned a really fun evening for Evie ... and then the termites hit. And when the termites hit, you have to turn off all the lights in the house for the evening, or the termites pour into the house through the windows and doors. Needless to say, we had to adjust quickly, but a memorable way to turn 12.
13 years old [March 2023]. Becoming a teenager is just so special that we did a series of fun experiences to commemorate this momentous occasion. This promotion should be celebrated and we celebrated well! The most fun we had was an over-night mothers-daughters trip to Phatthalung with dear friends, which is just 2 hours north of where we live. This was also the weekend we decided to all forgo our masks, which is a big deal after wearing them for 3 years. Where we still live, I would say it's about 75% masked, 25% mask-less, so this was a big deal for us. But what a way to commemorate 13!
2. Party decorations have become more common in Thailand in recent years, but rarely are there ever themes. If you are looking for kids character, movies, or anything popular, you will have a hard time finding much of anything. I've had to get creative over the years. For example, I had Moomin napkins, and the decorated ordinary cups with Moomin stickers. I've printed posters and tried to mix and match whatever supplies I had on hand to come up with a theme. Thailand has several Dollar Tree type stores, where most everything is 60 baht ($1.75 USD), which are constantly changing their inventory. Sometimes you can find random supplies and decor, which I save for various party occasions. There is a certain delight that comes with having to figure out all the party puzzle pieces.
3. Food is one of the great pleasures in our birthday celebrations. Whoever has the birthday gets to choose what we make/ have for dinner and dessert. Currently, the ongoing request is baked Mac&Cheese. We don't have the pleasure of Kraft or Annie's, so everything is made from scratch. Then everyone has either their favorite cookies, cake, or pie. Birthdays are just such a great opportunity to enjoy celebrating each other with some of our favorite foods. I prefer to make all our own birthday treats because although Thai cakes look gorgeous, they are often bland, dense, and the frosting tastes more like pure butter than a delicious cake frosting. Though we do have one coffee shop in town that make delicious pie of various types and the owner learned how to make pie in America. That place is legit!
4. Our friends scene changes from year to year. The pandemic was pretty challenging for building relationships within the expat community. As the lockdowns progressed, many families left. Since living in Hatyai, we've seen 8 families come and go. Despite the fluid social circle of the expat community, we are never without friends to create beautiful memories and celebrations. Though friendships look different for us, we are thankful for the vast array of relationships God has given us throughout the years.
5. Adventuring has been pretty limited the last 3 years. We arrived in Hatyai just a few months prior to the world locking down, and it's not yet been a year since Thailand really started doing away with restrictions. When I turned 40, my husband took me to Talay Noi for a birthday adventure. I loved it so much that I wanted to take Evie for her 13th birthday. We woke up at 4:30 AM to head to the wetlands and the experience did not disappoint. We thought for sure it would rain on us that morning, but God held back the rains until we returned from our excursion. A beautiful way to celebrate 13!
6. In the big picture of things, I want our girls to know that mom and dad are their biggest cheerleaders. Birthdays should be a time to celebrate and reflect on each daughters' growth, intellect, personalities, joy, and the future. We want to instill God's powerful truths in the hearts - how uniquely and beautifully God created them, instilling with a sense of deep purpose, beauty, and delights. I am by no means a perfect mother, but I'm learning the value of slowing down to celebrate all my beautiful people. Time goes by way too fast, so I must delight and rest in the beauty of today. It is truly a gift to celebrate all the Lord has done in my life, how He has kept me and gifted me with a husband and three daughters. Surely there is fullness of joy in His presence alone!
Life is hard, chaotic, and sometimes very ugly. Don't allow the worries and burden of this world stop you from celebrating the people you love and the God you serve.
"Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. Let your joy overflow! And let gentleness be seen in every relationship, for our Lord is ever near. Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ." Philippians 4:4-7 (TPT)
Thank you Jesus for the joy of celebration! You delight in what is good and You want us to delight in the good gifts You give us. Thank you for your blessing of relationships through family and friends. Thank you for life and abundance in life. Help me not to take life for granted. Remind me that You long for me to come to You not only in my sorrows, but in my celebrations. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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